Writing about male ego may sound like a disastrous idea on women’s day but it is one of the prime causes keeping us away from attaining gender equality. India is a contradictory society and has people living both a hundred years ahead and behind time, all at once. With such admirable diversity, procuring a sense of empathy for a certain ideology and practicing it while completely defying what is ‘normal’ in society could be very challenging but not impossible.
Jumping straight to the point, let us now address the elephant in the room and start with the rudimentary bits of the discussion.
What is this ‘fragile ego’? Does it concern masculinity of a man?
Ego is just our concept of self, a sense of self-worth or rather a delusion of self-prestige. Not only is it harmful but it can be extremely tiresome to feed the beast (read ego) all the time. What we are referring to as the “male ego” is grounded on long-held assumptions and stereotypes about masculinity and maleness that have social meaning and have been, for the most part, unconsciously internalized by most men.
It is rather sad that we are living in a society that equates masculinity with male sexuality all too frequently. There arises a severe problem that comes from the assumption that exercising one’s sexuality makes one a man.
However, the male ego is not making anyone manlier. It is the same when one equates robust masculinity with muscle. Well, bad news, insecure egos are not taking anyone, man or woman anywhere, even though egos of women are rarely a matter of discussion.
What about the female ego anyway? Does it even exist?
Before a section of men automatically start mansplaining (strangely enough, a section of women do somewhat the same) let me be clear: Women are not Buddha. And yes, they have egos too, which get equally hurt. But though both men and women have egos, it seems to be that yellowing a male ego comes with more adverse repercussions. Maybe it is the right time to acknowledge that the horrifying difference in figures between men being physically abused by women vs. women being abused by men, is probably not because of the difference in their built, but rather because of the system we breathe in that has emphasized male dominance for uncountable years.
Is physical abuse the only upshot of a hurt male ego?
Sadly, this omnipresent threat to a man’s ego is unsympathetically affecting women. The side-effects of ‘male-ego’ have left their fingerprints on everything: personal relationships, professional space or general daily interaction with society.
The abuse on women need not necessarily be physical. It could be psychological, which, in the very least, may lead to loss of confidence in women. Patriarchy is so deeply rooted that women often end up accepting abuse instead of resisting.
The vicious manifestation of male ego and society legitimizing it:
In order to understand male ego, one must first acknowledge that gender roles are only socially constructed. To understand the male ego, you need to understand how society shapes men’s expectations of themselves. This is important because many men developed harmful ways of dealing with these social demands which manifest themselves in their everyday interaction with women.
In the workplace, male employees usually find it harder to acknowledge the success of their female counterparts irrespective of merit.
In the household, men are often uncomfortable to accept a more successful woman as their partner. When a woman takes a stand dissimilar to that of the man, even if it is for a personal cause, it hurts the man deep down, despite the rationality of it. Giving rise to unnecessary arguments where a woman’s voice is mostly silenced followed, in many cases, by violence.
In the bedroom, most cases of sexual abuse are about dominance. Bruised male ego often leads to physically domination which is an elementary way of asserting power over an individual.
Notably, there exists a culture of silence which needs to be addressed when we talk about repercussions of bruised male egos. While it is important to remember the problems women face in the world, it is also important to acknowledge that the problems are only a symptom and that these problems can never be solved unless the causes are directly addressed, butthurt male egos included.
Happy women’s day to you too!
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NEWSD and NEWSD does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.