We see ‘Mental Health Matters’ trending on all social media platforms especially after any famous personality commits suicide. But why does it take people to end their lives to make us realize the importance of mental health?
This is a high time we all should understand that mental health always matters and just talking about it for a few days is not enough, we have to make changes at individual, family and societal levels.
We also have to accept that mental health is as important as physical health. Just like when we go to a doctor and other health specialists and they recommend certain diets, exercises and medications to keep our body healthy, we also need some recipe or method to keep our mind healthy.
Maintaining good physical health needs changes in our lifestyle similarly maintaining a good mental health also needs changes in our lifestyle and thinking patterns. Physical and mental health are connected to each other, physical health affects mental health and vice-versa.
There is no one time solution for maintaining good mental health as every situation and individual is different. But there are few changes we can make in our lives. Some of them are-
Start Having Effective Communication:
I personally believe that lack of effective communication is the root cause of the majority of human problems. It is really important to communicate our feelings, thoughts and emotions. For parents, it is important to develop effective communication with children from an early age. Parents should become their child’s best friend; children should know that they can always go to their parents to share their feelings.
You don’t need to have thousands of followers on twitter but you should have at least one or two 3 am friends with whom you can share all your problems. Effectively communicating feelings and thoughts can eliminate the majority of problems in every human relationship but don’t forget that effective communication also includes effective listening. Listening not only involves understanding the words but also understanding the accompanying emotions.
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Use of Coping Strategies:
There are different types of coping strategies to deal with stress, the two most common are emotion focused coping and problem focused coping. Emotion focused coping is a stress management technique through which we can manage negative consequences of stress like anxiety, depression, fear, frustration etc. by using various techniques like distraction, journaling, seeking social support , meditation, playing with a pet, gardening etc. This coping strategy involves reducing the negative effect of the circumstances or situations. On the other hand, problem focused coping involves directly tackling the cause of the problem; it includes gathering more information about the problem, learning new ways and skills to tackle it. This type of coping directly counters the problem rather than diverting from it. For example an anxious employee who is concerned about his job performance, can reduce his anxiety by completing job targets on time, by being punctual on his job. However problem focused coping is more effective when we perceive that the problem is within our control and we can change it. On the other hand emotion focused coping helps us to reduce the negative feelings by engaging in other acts or behaviours.
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Develop Resilience:
Resilience can be defined as a capacity which helps us to bounce back to normalcy from adversity. Some succumb to difficult life situations but others fight those situations and emerge from them, resilience is the characteristic which differentiates between these two categories. It does not mean that by being resilient, a person can’t feel sorrow or sadness but a resilient person can challenge the situation and seek ways to overcome it, resilience helps us to adapt to difficult and challenging life situations. It involves behaviours that can be learned. There are different ways to develop resilience. According to American Psychological Association there are various strategies through which you can build your resilience for example by making connections (prioritize relationships, join a group), foster wellness (take care of your body, practice mindfulness), find purpose (help others, be proactive, move towards your goals), embrace healthy thoughts (keep things in perspective, learn from your past, accept change) and seek help.
Be Realistic and Seek help if needed:
To have a realistic purpose in life is very important, a goal which should be achievable. You are your best judge; you know your strengths and weaknesses. We usually feel overwhelmed when we perceive that the demands of the situation exceed our abilities to deal with it. It is better to understand that we have certain abilities and we do not possess all the potential to deal with each and every problem. We all have our break-up points, so it is better to ask for help from someone like your friend or a family member whom you can trust, someone who is non-judgemental. You can always consult a therapist, who can listen to your dilemmas and can work with you to find the right direction and a solution to your problems.
Stop the stigma:
It is a high time that as a society we should shun the stigma associated with mental illness and to accept that it is for real. We should encourage people to come out openly with their mental health struggles and stop attaching the word ‘pagal’ with anybody who is going through a mental health crisis. The change should first come at the family level; we should be more accepting and aware about the seriousness and consequences of poor mental health of our family members and especially of our kids. In my clinical and research practice as a psychologist I come across parents of children with autoimmune diseases, some of them are not comfortable in sharing the diagnosis of their child with the school or their relatives, they fear the stigma attached with the disease and its consequence on the future of the child.
We as a society have this foremost responsibility to stop labelling people, to stop shaming them because of their mental or physical conditions and encourage them to come out of their fears and share their conditions, thoughts and feelings.
We will start seeing the change once we start changing ourselves. We should be kind to our minds!
In the words of Glenn Close ‘’what mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, more unashamed conversation’’
(Dr Sadaf Hameed is a health Psychologist based in New Delhi. She works on the effect of chronic diseases on mental health.)
