We all had and still have our share of #MeToo phases and situations in varying degrees, which disturb us at multiple levels. Each might respond or react differently.
Everybody is just lapping up the news about this or that celebrity/politician/journalist. Scores of industries and many unnamed souls suffer day in and day out. Their acknowledgment of #MeToo movement is unlikely.
But I am glad somewhere it has started. Important is to see what it would do to each of us.
So, for me, my conscious self has been happy over the fact…that now men/boys have to be guided the way girls have been asked to be careful. Sort of ‘revenge taken’ or ‘score settled’ kind of feeling.
But unconscious me ie; sleep is so disturbed that I have been having such uncomfortable dreams about my hometown, my childhood years when for everything wrong (as per a small town) was due to some grave mistake on girls part. If I think today, social smiles on the way to school or greeting boys in wedding or festivals were enough to churn grapevine factories and create horror stories for families to take stock of girls upbringing as if like they were some cattle.
Recent #MeToo movement in India, makes my mind recall the fear and apprehension attached in avoiding such sticky situations as being an integral part of conversations around girls upbringing then.
I specifically remember, once one elder cousin of mine was showered with verbal volleys, cause some random guy had started making blank calls at our landline phone. And she had to face the collective ire of the family and her parents were made to feel like as if their upbringing is flawed n just those blank calls have bought disgrace to whole clan’s reputation. I mean …just random blank calls…Really ???. Now, I am at loss of words for that incident.
I never spoke to my any sibling or any cousin about that incident. But it was for sure a marker in each cousin’s mind since then,…what not to do! No guy can have your contact number…it was the time of landline phones then.
Due to one such incident, I was always on my guard. I never assumed any male classmate as classmate initially when I moved to a Co-ed school in my teens. Years when one learns to build trust, I was always on guard to disown and suspect everyone. For me, all were potential candidates to bring shame to my family. I avoided taking help even when I needed direly.
And later, when I started exploring and making my own relationships, I got friends with few with a lot is if’s and but’s.
Then again a few years later, one letter from a female friend in which she just wrote about all friends (including male friends) in our small group and our future plans, after school got over, and we moved to different cities. I never got to see that letter. But some relative received opened and it was enough to churn a storm in my newly explored comfort zone of being warm to people.
For me #MeToo is also about precautions, and no matter how n what happens or who does, it’s a girl to be blamed attitude for unknown.
I sincerely wish to walk the talk with my children. I can’t say how I will do with my children, but I don’t want to bring the baggage of my raising years in them.
I am still breathing heavy now and dreaming uncomfortably from last two days.
Too much to handle the unending series of names, out of which many were idols/role models for me lost face.
All I feel as if I am standing in midst of a high intensity dust storm.
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