An old joke when I was growing up is that men always took to their heels with the “M” word. This has slowly and steadily changed. Today men and women are not running from the M word but the C word. Commitment issues are way more disparaging than having a marriage that is on the rocks. There are marriage survivors and marriage victims. And trust me I am not talking about physical abuse at all.
With the influx of technology and your better half quite literally at the end of your finger tips its no surprise that the affection that one receives from close proximity whether it’s just the generous hug or the genuine concern in a long wait is slowly fading. There are no surprises and the old fashioned long wait for your loved one to get home has just about died off in the urban areas. There’s Skype, Whatsapp and Viber to do the work for you. With all these happening there is hardly any emotion left in many conversations I’ve witnessed.
This has unfortunately made us more conscious of ourselves as human beings. Suddenly the 400 rupee dress just won’t do because it doesn’t have a brand tag. How will I brag about it? I need to buy a good dress which ain’t less than 4000/- rupees and for what? A dinner date that needs a Facebook check -in, a mandatory selfie and would last about an hour and then fizzle off! I am definitely not saying that someone should go on a date in a shabby outfit but why are we so hell bent on getting an approval from another to feel good about ourselves? There isn’t too much of a private life left for some because their are living the Facebook life. It’s okay to flirt and expect others to not comment on your colourful character because all those you know are probably doing the same thing. What’s unfortunate is that we have more time to update our statuses than to check on our parents and/or children let alone spouses.
Unfortunately this habit is slowly passing on to children as well. Arrogance has now won over innocence.
Holding the door for a woman, splitting the bills, taking care of her fall is now passé. The same is with leaving notes on the bedside table for him to wake up to a smile or having a splendid candle light dinner at home! Fancy restaurants have taken away all of that. It’s all a “luxury” game. Can you afford it or not? Has replaced the question: “Is it important or not?”
Unfortunately for the world a small section of “old fashioned,” “raised properly” kids do wonder, Can texting replace the fondness you have for your loved one? Has video calling replaced the need to have the person around? Have we as humans become cold and indifferent because there is a something called “technology” that is fulfilling our needs?
On this background, commitment is struggling against the tide to make itself heard. Men and women are using each other like tissue papers without an understanding of what they really need.
We all need that one week away from our phones to live and experience our relationships and our lives. The true meaning of a relationship is to develop a bond that never dies, to bring meaning to our life and that of the other person as well.
Marriage survivors for me are those who are clinging on to a meaningless and loveless marriage because they don’t have the courage to tell society, “I am not happy,” instead they find their refuge in social media relations and that’s how social media runs & ruins their life.
Marriage victims are basically those who are stuck taking care of the marriage survivors and yet bearing the brunt of a society that calls them and finds them less than worthy.
If only we could all rewind a few centuries we would see the cordialty, etiquette and the bond that held. We would understand where we needed to draw the line for our public and private life and why we need to celebrate who we are rather than put on a facade to prove what we are not.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NEWSD and NEWSD does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.